Beauty Within The Broken
by Seraphie17
Summary: Its like Twilight but Bella is blind. She was in a car accident that killed her mum and left her stuck in Forks with Charlie. She has a guide dog called Endesha and, of course, Edward Cullen *dribble* *dribble* is included. :P
1. Chapter 1

"_Don't be silly mom, you look lovely." I said for the hundredth time. Trying to reassure my mom was like trying to make a flea stop jumping, it was just impossible._

"_Are you sure honey?" she asked, smoothing down her perfectly straight hair in her rear view mirror. _

"_Yes mom, I'm sure, would you watch where you're driving please?"_

"_I'm sorry, of course, driving..."_

_We were headed towards a blind bend in the road, but my mother knew this road like the back of her hand, everything was okay. Yet I had the feeling that something was going to go wrong, but normally nothing came of it, so I tried to relax. We started round the bend, then everything slowed down, my nightmare prolonging this agonistic memory._

_The drunk driver in his HGV was heading straight towards us, there was nothing we could do. I knew what was going to happen, I had lived through this, my mom had not been so lucky. I heard the sound of crunching metal, my screams as my legs broke and the flying glass left me blind, I heard my mom's screams as she died..._

I woke screaming and screaming. I heard Charlie, my dad, clamber out of bed and run through to my room, the door burst open and he was beside me on my bed, trying to calm me down.

"Bella, honey, its okay, it was just a dream, it was just a dream."

My screams had stopped but I broke down into strangled sobs, every night following the accident it replayed in my head. It had been two months now, but those last moments of my mom's life, those last moments that I had been able to see still stuck with me. My guide dog, Endesha, licked my hand and I patted the bed so she would jump up. The tears slowed as I pressed my face into Endesha's soft fur, I was told that she was a beautiful golden retriever, I wouldn't know myself.

"Are you okay now honey?" Charlie asked as he stifled a yawn.

"Yeah, thanks dad, go back to bed, you have work in the morning."

"Bells, have you forgotten that tomorrow is your first day of school?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, will you give me a ride in the morning?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course I will honey, I'm not exactly going to make you walk am I?" He laughed softly.

"You've explained my, uh, situation to the school, yeah?" I asked warily.

"Yeah, its fine, you can take Endesha with you everywhere, it's no problem."

I sighed in relief and I heard Endesha rolling over on the bed, Charlie was probably stroking her tummy, she loved that. The bedsprings groaned as Charlie got up and he strolled back through to his room to sleep some more. As I lay back down I felt Endesha wriggle to the top of the bed and I put my hand out to her. She bumped her nose against it.

"Night Endesha, love you, try not to get me lost tomorrow, 'kay?"

She licked my hand in response and I snuggled into my duvet, trying to block out the fear that tomorrow would be one to add to my pile of worst days ever...

I woke to Endesha licking my face as my alarm went off. She's a silly dog, but I love her. I wiped dog slobber off of my cheek and wandered to my window to open it, it always got really stuffy in my room. I couldn't feel heat as I stood at my window, so it was probably overcast today, I stuck my hand out of the window and it was raining, yet again. Living in the Olympic Peninsula was definitely getting to me. I found a pair of jeans and I fished a shirt out of my 'brown' drawer. I had different coloured clothing in different drawers, so I could at least try to colour co-ordinate, but, I didn't always get it right, being blind was such a hassle sometimes... Once I was dressed I needed to get downstairs for breakfast, I whistled for Endesha.

"Where's your lead?" I said to her, she understood perfectly.

I heard the scrabble of her paws on my door as she jumped against it to get the lead hanging there, and I heard the metal clasp scrape along my wooden floor as she dragged it to me. She bumped her nose against my leg and I crouched down and held out my hand for the lead. She spat it right into my hand and then sat still so I could attach it to her collar. Once that was done she led me downstairs, into the kitchen, and sat by one of the chairs, which I then walked into.

"Steady Bells, you don't want to be falling over before you've even got to school." Charlie chuckled.

"Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence dad." I said sarcastically.

"Hey, don't worry, it's all going to be fine, you'll see."

"Hmm, not so sure about the last part dad." I said, laughing at my own joke.

Charlie didn't get it for a while, but when he did he laughed as much as me. Man, he's slow in the morning. I rooted around my kitchen for something to eat, I found a bowl, a spoon and the milk without much hassle, but I couldn't tell which cereal was what. I settled for smelling them, I found one that smelled of strawberry and poured some into my bowl, using my finger as a way of telling how much was in there. I poured milk over it and held the bowl up against my chin, it was the easiest way of eating without it going anywhere. It also meant that I didn't have to try and put it successfully on the table, with possible misplacing and dropping, I thought just eating standing up would be safer. Once I had finished, I found the sink and carefully placed my dirty dishes in it. I heard Charlie fold the newspaper he must have been reading and heave himself to his feet, clomping about the kitchen in his boots.

"Come on Bells, grab Endesha. Your shoes, coat and bag are all out in the hall already."

"Thanks dad. Come on Endesha." I said as I crouched once again to grab her lead.

I had no trouble with my shoes or coat but the bag was confusing.

"It's a one-shoulder strap bag, I thought it would be easier for you." Charlie scuffed his feet off the floor, uncomfortable as always when showing his emotions.

"Oh, uh, thanks." I said awkwardly. I hadn't been used to being taken care of before the accident, now I guessed I had to try and get used to it. Endesha led me to the cruiser, I got in and she snuggled between my feet.

"Comfortable Endesha?" I asked her while tickling her ears.

She barked and licked my hand, I took that as a yes and shut the car door. We were at the school in no time, it was just off the highway apparently so it took a grand total of 10 minutes to drive there. I thanked my dad for the lift as I opened the cruiser door and he wished me good luck. I found that funny as good luck tended to avoid me at every possible situation. Endesha led me to what I supposed was the office, she was an amazing dog.

"Hello?" I said warily, not knowing exactly where I was.

A voice at my left elbow made me jump and I turned towards the voice.

"You must be Isabella Swan, and this must be Endesha. Welcome to Forks High School."

"It's just Bella," I corrected her hastily, I hated anyone calling me by my full name. I then remembered my manners, "Thank you." I said.

"Here is your timetable and your map of the school both in Braille of course," I nodded and smiled gratefully as she handed me the pieces of paper. She then handed me an A5 sheet, but that wasn't in Braille, my brow furrowed as I tried to figure out what it was for. The receptionist then explained, "This is a slip for you to get each of your class teachers to sign and you are to come and hand it in at the end of today, okay?"

"Thank you." I said again, knowing that people had gone to extra trouble for me.

"You're welcome honey, have a nice day."

I walked outside with Endesha, I could hear other pupils arriving now. I could feel the looks I was getting, and I heard the whispers as they walked past, I felt self-conscious, blushed and looked down even though I couldn't see them. Involuntary reaction I guess. Endesha started to follow the rest of the pupils walking round the school while I studied the map and my timetable with my fingertips. I didn't feel the change in direction of Endesha's leash until it was too late and I walked straight into someone.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise..." I trailed off and my previous blush returned.

"It's okay, don't worry about it." He was male, I don't think I hurt him, I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I really am sorry, I wasn't paying attention, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm Mike Newton, by the way, you are?"

"Bella Swan." I let that sink in, and then he stammered as he asked me the next question.

"I'm sorry, I'm not being rude or anything but, how come you're blind, no one heard about that..." He trailed off, probably feeling awkward. I couldn't believe I was a topic of discussion around here, I began to get paranoid, but answered his question all the same.

"It was two months ago, traffic collision. A drunk driver hit my car head on." I couldn't tell him about my mom, I'd only just met him, I didn't need to recall my life story.

"I'm sorry..." He let the subject drop, he could probably tell from my expression that I wouldn't say anything more about it, "Do you need any help finding your classes at all?"

"Um, possibly, I'm not so good with maps really."

"Where are you headed first?"

"Um," I wasn't quite sure, I hadn't got very far with my timetable, I quickly went over it, "English, building three, with Mr Jafferty." **(A/N: I thought it was a funny name, so I used it :P)**

"Exactly where I was headed, come on." He said, linking his arm through mine. A small growl came from Endesha, she wasn't so keen on this Mike. I crouched to talk to her.

"Shush Endesha, he's a friend." I then stood up to properly introduce them, it seemed like the right thing to do. "Mike, this is Endesha. Endesha, this is Mike."

I felt him crouch down beside me to probably scratch Endesha's tummy or something like that. He then caught hold of my arm again and headed in what I supposed was the right direction to building three. He led us up a ramp and into the building, I felt the change in temperature immediately and the sound of the floor beneath my feet had changed from a crunchy tarmac sound to a softer carpeted sound. He led us into the classroom and up to the front.

"Yeus?" I supposed that was Mr Jafferty, what a strange accent the man had.

"I'm Bella Swan, I'm a new pupil here." I sorted through the pieces of paper in my hand to find the A5 sheet to give to him.

"Whye, thank youe miss swarn, I'm surea it will be a pleesure to teach youe."

He handed me back the sheet and Mike helped me to a seat at the back of the class, right next to his. Now, I don't know if I was just imagining it or not but Mike seemed a little over-helpful, a little over-eager and I might have to try and deal with that tactfully. I'd never had any interest from guys back at Phoenix, where I had lived with my mother. I was sure that I hadn't changed much appearance-wise since then, maybe being blind cast me as a damsel in distress, but whatever it was, I wasn't sure it was going to be very helpful.

I thought about fishing my tape recorder out of my bag to record what Mr Jafferty was saying so I could type it up in Braille later, but he started by just going over the reading list for the year, so I didn't think it was necessary. I had read everything, but that was before the accident, I would have to find some way of getting these books in Braille. Mr Jafferty ended the lesson to give us time to pack away before the bell went for next lesson. While Mike was busy with his books I heard a chair scuffing the floor and a male voice directed at me.

"You're Isabella Swan aren't you?" He asked me. His voice wasn't very attractive at all, quite nasal, but at least he was polite.

"It's just Bella, and this is Endesha." I said, gesturing towards her at my feet.

"She's lovely, is she a golden retriever?"

"I guess so, I've never seen her myself." I laughed.

The boy seemed to catch on and laughed a little, but he didn't seem to get the funny side of it. I let it drop.

"So you are?" I realised he hadn't given me his name.

"Eric Yorkie. Tall, dark and handsome may I add."

Mike burst into a fit of laughter beside me, at what I had no idea, maybe someone had done something funny.

"You? Handsome? And I thought Bella was funny..." Mike trailed off into more laughter.

"Shut it Mike." At that moment the bell went. "I'll see you around Bella." And with that I heard Eric walk away, possibly dragging his feet a little.

"Come on, where are you headed next?" Mike asked as we got up and walked to the door.

"Trigonometry, building one, Mr Varner." I tried to sound enthusiastic and failed miserably.

Mike laughed and led me to building one. I stopped at the door and asked him a question.

"Why did you laugh at Eric back there?"

"He's the geeky, chess-club, skin problem kind of guy. Definitely not your type."

"Who are you to say who 'my type' is?" I semi-snapped at him, I could take care of myself, well, kind of.

"Is he your type?" He sounded incredulous.

"Well, no..." I laughed at the thought of Eric ever being 'my type' and Mike joined in.

"I have to get to class, you won't have trouble finding your other classes after this one will you?" He sounded worried. I was pleased that he was so helpful, but he was verging on annoying so I told him no. I could find a few classes by myself, right?

"I'll see you around then Bella."

"I won't see you around Mike." I, again, laughed at my own joke, feeling gratified when Mike joined in, still laughing as he walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the morning was uneventful, the teachers didn't make a fuss, there was always someone there to help me to my next class, and by the time it was lunch I was starving. I was quite worried about walking into a cafeteria filled with people I didn't know, all staring at me because I was the new girl, the blind new girl.

"Bella!" I heard from behind me and I twisted my head a fraction towards the voice so they could tell I heard. There was no point in turning all the way round, I couldn't see them could I?

"Mike?" I guessed.

"Yeah it's me, you find your classes okay?" Still worried about me, I could tell.

"Yeah, a guy called Tyler helped me find my Modern Studies and my Music classes."

"Oh, that must be Tyler Crowley, that was nice of him to help you out." But something in Mike's voice made me think that he wished that Tyler hadn't helped me after all, or that Tyler wasn't such a nice guy. Maybe Mike was jealous that he hadn't been there to help me, but I doubted it, it was probably a feud that went back to before I moved here. He helped me find the counters and something to eat. I then followed Endesha to an empty table, she wasn't so great with strangers and I didn't feel like talking much.

"Hey, how come you are sitting here by yourself?" Mike asked as he dumped his tray beside mine.

"Endesha's not that good with strangers, I thought it would be more sensible to sit by myself for a day or two until she gets used to it here." _Or until I get used to it here, which would probably take while _I thought.

"Okay, well I need go talk to Eric about valedictorian stuff," Mike faked a yawn and then laughed as he walked away. I was quite happy with the quiet, I had room to think. I then heard a tray being carefully put down beside mine.

"Hi, I'm Angela Weber, is it okay if I sit here?" She had a quiet voice, she must be shy.

"Yeah sure take a seat, don't mind Endesha." She was growling softly. **(A/N: Endesha growled, not Angela :P)**

"Thank you. Your dog is so cute. You must be Isabella Swan."

"It's just Bella," I smiled in her general direction.

"Right, Bella." I could hear the smile in her voice.

I realised that I liked this Angela, she was peaceful, she didn't feel the need to fill any silence, it was comfortable.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen? I mean, when did it happened? I mean..."

Poor girl, she was trying to find a polite way of phrasing her question. I knew what she meant though and I gave her the same answer as I had given Mike earlier today.

"It was two months ago, traffic collision. A drunk driver hit my car head on."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it, they're only questions, its fine, I expected there to be a few."

I heard the scraping of the chair next to me as Mike arrived back.

"Sorry about that, I had to try and sort out the mess that Eric had made of the valedictorian papers and stuff. That's one way to spend fifteen of the most boring minutes of your life I guess."

Angela giggled as Mike chuntered on about Eric and other such nonsense. I lost interest in the conversation, absentmindedly stroking the fur on the back of Endesha's neck. I came back to reality just in time as Angela asked me a question.

"So what class do you have next Bella?"

"Biology, what about you?"

"Same, me and Mike must both be in your class, what a coincidence." I could hear the smile in her voice, and I wondered how she was looking at Mike right about now.

"The bell is about to ring, we should probably get going." Mike said.

"If you two lead the way then Endesha and I can follow you." I said, rising from my seat. Mike's hands were holding my elbow, in case I lost my balance no doubt. I heard him continuing his conversation with Angela, though her soft voice made it hard for me to distinguish what she was saying, but it sounded like they were getting along at least. I walked calmly behind Endesha and thought about what might lay ahead of me in Biology, I thought of a thousand possibilities but none could even slightly prepare me for what was actually going to happen.

As soon as I walked into the classroom it was deathly quiet, I could hear breathing, I could feel the stares. I hung my head slightly so hopefully my hair would hide most of my bright red face. I could feel the blush getting stronger with every step, _Oh please don't let me fall now_ I begged internally. Endesha stopped at what I assumed was the front of the class and I managed to stammer out the teacher's name. He took the slip from my hands, signed it, carefully handed me a textbook and sent me, well Endesha really, to a seat at the back of the class. There was someone in the seat next to me, I turned slightly towards them, trying to be polite.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan."

"Edward Cullen." He sounded as though he was in some sort of pain.

"Are you okay?" I was appalled at his ragged breath, was there something wrong?

"No, yes, I'm fine, thank you" He said in a rush.

Mr Banner started the lesson just then and I scrambled into my bag to find my tape recorder. It was, as usual, right at the bottom of the bag. I set it on the desk and then tried to listen to his lecture. It was too difficult, I could feel the Edward boy beside me glaring at me, I could almost feel the waves of hostility rolling off of him. I couldn't understand, I hadn't done anything wrong, had I? I began to get paranoid again, my cheeks felt hot and I tilted my head towards the desk, I didn't want to have all these people staring at me, it was horrible. Couldn't they see that I had suffered enough? Couldn't they just leave me alone? The Edward boy was still glaring at me, I could feel his stare boring into my back, I couldn't take it much longer. I was on the verge of tears because of this boy's selfish, careless nature. My head whipped round in his direction.

"Look, just leave me alone, stop staring at me, what have I ever done to you?" I felt the tears spill over as I was looking in his direction.

I also realised that this Edward boy had stopped breathing, the rhythmic flow of air through his lungs had stopped, I noticed it immediately and I didn't care. I hoped he stayed like that, people like him shouldn't be allowed around people, not if this was the result. Reducing me to tears, who the hell did he think he was?


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise..." His voice was beautiful, like velvet.

"Yeah, well, you should have thought about that shouldn't you?" I snapped.

"Bella, will you look at me for a moment?"

"Nope." I physically couldn't, I was blind, had he forgotten that?

"There's no need to be so stubborn."

"Look, Edward, I would if I could, but I can't so I won't."

He got it then, I thought I heard his hand slap over his mouth as he realised his mistake and his next words were muffled.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think before I spoke, please forgive me."

Well at least he was polite. I turned to face his direction and got the fright of my life as his finger grazed my cheek, catching the last tear that was sitting there. I didn't mind that he was being nice, or touching my face, it's just that his fingers were ice cold. I shivered. I could hear babble from the other students as they got packed up ready for their next class and I couldn't think of anything to say, so naturally, Edward picked the question I had been asked a thousand times before.

"So, how come you're blind?" No one had asked me that bluntly before, and his abruptness kind of phased me but I answered at least. Same answer as I had given everyone.

"Two months ago, traffic collision. A drunk driver hit my car head on."

"Were you the one driving?" He was the only one to ask more questions, the first one seemed enough for people, they didn't want to go into it. Yet this Edward sounded...fascinated.

"No, my mum was." I tried to ignore the lump in my throat and the stinging in my eyes.

"What happened?" He asked quietly, compellingly.

"I don't want to talk about it..." My voice quiet.

"Of course, I understand." He helped me to my feet and put his arm around my shoulders. I was expecting some sort of reaction from Endesha, but there was none. She had growled at everyone who had come near me today, but not Edward. Maybe she was just tired, new places and new people did that to her, did that to me too.

"Your dog is adorable." he said with his arm still round my shoulders, "What's her name?"

"Endesha." And I smiled proudly.

"What does her name mean?" He sounded sincerely curious.

"It means guide or lead, it's quite apt really." I laughed.

"You have a beautiful smile."

That was something I did not expect, and I don't think he expected my reaction. I blushed bright red, I scuffed my feet and I stammered, trying to figure out a coherent sentence to thank him for his compliment. It was impossible, I couldn't think. His smell was intoxicating, you couldn't tell what it was it was just amazing, and his voice was as rich as, but rougher than, velvet. He laughed at my stammering and blushing and tilted my head up towards his by lifting it with his fingers from underneath my chin.

"You know you get a crease right here," He touched in between my eyebrows, "whenever you are thinking? That's really cute."

That brought on a whole other round of blushing and stammering and feet-scuffing and non-coherent sentences.

The bell went and we started walking, I didn't know where to, but who cared? I was sure that I would be able to find my class after he found his.

"Do you not get compliments very often?" He guessed, there was a teasing tone to his voice, but it was playful, not mean. I bet he was grinning right now.

I shook my head, at least I could do that without making a fool of myself. The blush was still in my cheeks.

"That's like blasphemy! How could you not?" He seemed mildly outraged that people didn't point out my 'beauty', on the other hand I was rather happy that they didn't, I hated being the centre of attention. I laughed at his reaction to people non-complimenting me. And then got worried when he turned round and said,

"Well, that's fine, I can make up for all the compliments that others should give you."

"Please don't..." I couldn't help but be gratified by the offer from this charming boy but I was sure to die of humiliation if he did.

"You don't like attention." This wasn't a question, it was an assumption, I could tell by his tone of voice.

"No, I hate it." I laughed, thinking of the incredulous look that was probably on his face right now.

"So what do you think of Mike?" I could hear the playful teasing tone was back again.

"Is he around?" I asked warily, I didn't want him to be listening to my answer.

"Nope, long gone, you're free to spout your true feelings." He laughed and I joined in. I loved the sound of his laugh, it was truly breathtaking.

"The boy is nice enough, but too nice, I don't need another retriever." Edward burst out laughing again, and this time instead of just me laughing with him Endesha gave a little throaty chuckle of her own. Edward was right, she was absolutely adorable.

"Newton bothers the hell out of me, he hates me and thinks that for some reason you are his."Edward laughed while I bit my lip. How did he know this? Was it really that clear from the outside that Mike liked me that much?

"Bella, you are going to gnaw your way through your bottom lip if you don't stop that." He chastised playfully.

I couldn't stop it, I really was worried about Mike, and Eric, and Tyler, oh God.

"Bella, seriously, what's up?"

"It's just Forks, making me crazy in the literal sense of the word." I laughed, and then asked, "Where are we?"

"At the gym, I do believe this is your next class."

I traced my fingers over my timetable. "I believe you are right."

"Do you have a ride home Bella?" he asked, I didn't know where he was going with this.

"No, I'm walking, it's not that far to my house." I was still confused, why would this Edward care if I had a ride home or not?

"Do you want me to give you a ride home?" His voice was alluring, I wondered if that was purposeful.

"Well, if that's okay, that would be nice. Is it okay for Endesha to come in your car?"

"Of course." The smile in his voice was back. I smiled in response.

"I'll be right here waiting, okay?"

"Um, okay, thank you."

I heard him walk away, and the Endesha was dragging me towards the gym. I heard a door open and who I suspected to be Coach Clapp spoke to me.

"Isabella Swan?"

"It's just Bella." I corrected automatically.

"Hand me your slip so I can sign it and then go down the hall and it's the first door on your right. That's where you will spend these periods, use them for free study or to catch up on homework. Something productive okay?"

"Okay." I held out my slip for Coach Clapp, who signed it and gave it straight back to me. I then followed Endesha down the hallway to the room instructed. At first when I walked in I thought there was nobody there, it was so quiet.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hello?" I said warily.

"Hi there, you're Bella Swan aren't you?" A girl with a pretty, musical voice asked me.

"Yeah, I'm Bella it's nice to meet you..." I paused and waited for her to tell me her name.

"I'm Alice, Alice Cullen."

"Cullen? As in Edward's sister?" I was confused, he'd never mentioned any siblings, but then again, I guess I didn't ask.

"The one and only Edward Cullen..." she laughed, "So what class does my darling brother have with you?" She used the same playful teasing tone that he did.

"Biology, but I think that's it...I'm not sure." Well, how was I supposed to tell who was in all my classes, I had no idea that there was anyone there unless they introduced themselves to me.

"You had music fourth today didn't you?"

Odd question, but oddly enough she was right, I nodded.

"Edward's in that class!"

Oh, I didn't know exactly how to feel about that one. I think Alice must have noticed the confused expression on my face because she asked me.

"What is it, do you not like my brother?"

"No, it's not that, it's nothing, I'm just being silly."

"You don't know what he looks like do you?"

"Well, no, surely that would be rather difficult for me." I laughed.

"Tall, messy bronze hair, perfect face, prefect body, topaz eyes, got your interest yet?" She giggled a little.

"Maybe..." I was trying to picture him, but I couldn't, "Does he look like you?" I asked her abruptly.

"No, well, some of the features are about right, but hair colour and height there's no way we look related. I'm just over five foot with black spiky hair."

"Alice, this may seem like a really stupid question, but could I possibly, well, say no if you want, but can I touch your face, so I know what you look like?"

"Of course you can. What a great idea!"

I reached my hands out slowly and she caught them in hers and she brought them to her face. I was gentle, tracing over her features with my fingertips. She had a small, smooth forehead; a perfectly straight nose; big, beautiful eyes; gently sloping cheekbones; full lips; a small chin and a graceful jawbone. I gently ran my hands over her hair, careful to try and not mess it up. It was straight at the top and as it went down to about the same height as her jawbone it was curled and spiked out, pointing in every direction possible. Once I had finished I set my hands down by my side again and sighed. She was so beautiful. If Edward was anything like that then there was no chance of me and him ever being more than friends. A sadness clutched at my heart, and I tried to shrug it off before Alice caught on, but as usual, my face was a dead giveaway.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"Nothing, nothing..." I hoped she would drop it, but seeing as she was a relation of Edward's I bet she wouldn't.

"I'm not giving up that easily, what's wrong? Am I not pretty?"

How could she doubt that she was pretty? She must have been one of the most stunning girls I had ever met. "Not pretty? Are you stupid Alice? You're unbelievably pretty, you're astounding."

She heard the awe but was the sad edge to my voice as obvious as I thought? I seriously hoped not. Alice had suddenly fallen silent.

"Alice? Alice?" I started to panic, what was going on?

She wrapped her cold arm around me without warning, making me jump. It felt like she was comforting me, but then she spoke about her and Jasper and how happy they were together and how she wished that Edward would find someone and not be the odd one out. Oh no, I could see where she was going with this...

"No, Alice, no. Don't you dare try to set me up with your brother, don't you dare. I swear to God if you try anything funny I will kill you."

Alice laughed in the face of my empty threat, I was blind, there was no way I could take anyone. And even if I could see I was such a walking disaster that I'd end up hurting myself.

"You worry too much Bella, you never know, it could be fun, you and Edward..."

She was filling my mind with scenes that would never happen, my league and Edward's league were spheres which didn't touch. I could tell that already, even after just one conversation there was no way forward for there to be an 'us'.

"Stop it Alice! I said no already, please will you just let it go?"

"Her rage is rather endearing don't you think?" That wasn't Alice, that was Edward. Oh shit, how long had he been standing there? What had he heard? What the hell was Alice playing at?

"Alice Cullen, what the hell is going on?" I demanded to know.

"Calm down Bella, Edward just arrived, he heard our little argument and thought he would investigate. He's just being nosy. Ignore him."

I sighed and slumped onto the floor, Endesha was at my side immediately and I stroked her as I tried to think of what to do in a situation like this.

"So you were discussing setting me and Bella up, please do carry on. Pretend I'm not here."

Alice launched into it again, taking Edward's suggestion far too literally.

"Come on Bella, please, it would be fun, just the two of you..." She left the sentence hanging, implying something I wasn't sure I liked. I could feel their stares on me as they waited for my answer. I couldn't say no with him here, I might hurt him, but I couldn't say yes and leave my dignity intact anymore either.

"Alice... I don't think it's a very good idea, that's all."

"That's a very diplomatic answer there Bella. You've no need to spare my feelings." Edward said sweetly.

Alice piped up, "Maybe it's not your feelings that she's trying to spare Edward."

I blushed, I felt how hot my face was and I buried it into Endesha's fur, I didn't want to be in this situation, possibly in love with this boy, yet if I said one way or another I knew that I wouldn't have the courage to change my decision later on. And what if I said that I did want him, and he knocked me back? I couldn't handle the thought of rejection, fear flooded through me.

The bell rang and I got to my feet holding Endesha's lead and followed Endesha to the door. I felt a tiny, but strong hand grasp my arm before I could leave.

"You think I'm letting you off that easy? What do you think? You and Edward, yeah?" Alice pushed.

I couldn't believe I was about to say this, but what else could I do?

"No, I'm sorry, but no..." Tears sprang to my eyes as I thought of the possible pain he was going through of me knocking him back. Alice let go of my arm slowly, as though she was in shock. I left the room with the tears starting to flow down my cheeks. I was sorry, but I couldn't have a relationship right now, to someone I barely knew, in a place I had no familiarity with, and without my mom to tell her how things were, talk things over with her. But I loved him, yet no matter what I couldn't have him, not now. I was sobbing as I walked out of school and I knew people would be staring but I didn't care. I walked into the office, placed the sheet on the desk and left again, I couldn't stand the joyful receptionist's inane chatter and I was lucky that she was on the phone when I went in.


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N) I wrote the song in this chapter, if you would like to use it for anything, just ask :)**

I walked home, in the rain, Endesha knew the way, and I only had to cross one road, it wasn't difficult. My feet felt like lead, my eyes sore from crying, I was cold all over because of the miserable weather. Okay so maybe saying no to Edward had been bad idea, and now I could tell that this boy, Edward, was someone I definitely did have feelings for, but I couldn't act on them.

I reached my house, and when I went inside it wasn't much better from outside. It was freezing, but I couldn't turn on the heating, Charlie had never told me how to. So I changed out of my wet clothes, had a long hot shower , dressed in my pyjamas and sat at my grand piano in my duvet, Endesha beside me, she loved music.

Charlie had been going to get me a car for my seventeenth, but, after the accident I wouldn't ever be able to drive so he had bought me a white grand piano instead, seeing as I loved music. I am a misodoctakleidist (someone who hates studying and practising the piano) but composing was something I could do. That's why I was taking music at Forks High, I loved it and even though their resources are slightly limited, they do have a grand piano in the hall that we can use. I had been learning piano since I was about seven. You need two instruments for passing Music though. My second instrument is voice. You don't need to be able to see to sing. I played around for a while with a few chords and then lyrics flowed into my head. I couldn't write any of it down, but I didn't need to, I could remember it. I started to sing the lines that had popped into my head and soon enough I had a song. My song for Edward...

_Writing your name over and over  
__I can't get you out of my mind  
__I see nothing else I only see you and  
__Because of your light I am blind  
__And I realise that you don't wanna hear  
__Anything I've gotta say  
__But I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen  
__Cause I don't wanna leave us this way  
__And I'm gonna make this right  
__I'm not gonna give up this fight_

_Cause your name's in my head  
__And I'm full of dread  
__As you slip away from me  
__And I'm trying to hide  
__All the pain that's inside  
__Cause I don't want you to see  
__Your affect on my mentality_

_Yeah I know that I'm senseless,  
__Stupid and restless,  
__Can I please have one chance more?  
__Coz the thing is I love you  
__And I know that it's true  
__Cause I feel it in my core  
__And I realise that you don't wanna see me  
__But please tell me that I can stay  
__Cause I need to talk and I need you to listen  
__Cause I don't wanna leave us this way  
__I don't know if I can make this right  
__It feels like I'm losing the fight_

_Cause your name's in my head  
__And I'm full of dread  
__As you slip away from me  
__And I'm trying to hide  
__All the pain that's inside  
__Cause I don't want you to see  
__Your affect on my mentality_

_I can't make this right  
__And I've lost the fight  
__And why can't you see  
__How much you mean to me?  
__And I'm trying to hide  
__All the pain that's inside  
__Cause your name's in my head  
__And I'm full of dread  
__That you'll slip away from me  
__That you'll slip away from me  
__And I don't want you to see  
__The affect on my mentality_

I was finished with my piano for today, I got up and stumbled in my duvet over to my glass-less clock. It had no glass on the front so I could feel what time it was, it just made sense I guess. It was almost half five, Charlie would be home soon and I felt guilty for him being so nice this morning so I phoned for a pizza to save Charlie from cooking. Don't get me wrong, Charlie was one good cook I just felt that it would be easier getting pizza. The front door opened and I guessed it was Charlie that walked in because, one; they used a key and two; Endesha immediately left my side and bounded up to them.

"Hey Charlie. I just ordered pizza, I felt bad to make you cook after being so nice this morning."

"Hey kiddo! That's great, I was going to order pizza anyway, what did you get?"

"Pepperoni, your favourite." I said with a grin, "It should be here in about ten minutes or so."

"Alright then, I'm away to get out of this darned uniform, get the door if I'm not back down will you?"

"Sure thing dad. Come on Endesha, let's go see what on T.V." I couldn't watch T.V. obviously but Endesha loved the moving pictures on the screen. She I loved indulging her like this, it was so trivial but it would bring me so much joy to have her enjoy herself. I guess she was more like a best friend than a dog.

After a few minutes of some mindless sitcom and Endesha running round in circles, slapping my legs with her tail every time she passed me, the doorbell rang. I got up off the couch, stumbled sideways into Endesha, who nudged me back, and I went out into the hallway to get the front door.

"Hello?" I said, opening the door.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey Bella, I've got your pizza." A familiar husky voice said.

I was trying to remember where I had heard that voice before when the boy gave me an almost bone-crushing hug.

"Jacob!" I immediately knew it was him, no one else ever gave a hug like that.

"Hey Bella, how are you?"

"Fine, fine, come in Jake, I haven't seen you in so long!"

"You haven't seen anyone for two months Bella." He laughed and I laughed with him, he was right I hadn't, but that's not what I had meant.

"That's not what I meant, silly..."

"I know smelly, I know." He was silly and I was smelly, just stupid nicknames for each other. I was an only child, but me and Jake were so close, he was like the brother I never had.

"I need to feed Endesha and drag my father downstairs and then we can eat. You're gonna stay for dinner right?" I asked.

"Yeah course I am, my shift at the shop ended half an hour ago, I just thought I'd take this last delivery. And I paid for it, because I got an extra pizza for myself." I knew he would be grinning right now so I grinned in his general direction. I heard him sit down in one of our old chairs around the table. I walked over to the sink and reached up to find the handle for the cupboard above. I knew that we kept Endesha's food in this cupboard, and I fished out the cardboard box. I whistled for Endesha and I heard her paws on the linoleum. I rattled the box, she picked up her bowl in her mouth and bumped it against my leg. I took it from her, shook a little food into it and put it on the floor again. I put the box back in the cupboard and heard her crunching away happily. Jake had stayed silent all through this and I reached out my hand to find him, wondering if he was still here or not. He caught my hand in his and chuckled. I messed his hair with my other hand and walked out into the hall.

"Dad?" I called, "Can you hurry up? Me and Jake are gonna start eating without you if you don't."

I thought I heard a slightly muffled "Just coming" from the top of the stairs and then I heard his usual clumping down the stairs.

"Hey Jake." My father said as he entered the kitchen and took a seat. I heard it creaking as he sat down. I felt for the empty seat and I heard someone pull it out for me, I found it and sat down.

"Thanks." I laughed, I didn't know who to turn towards because I didn't know which one of them it had been.

"That's alright Bella." Jacob laughed along with me.

I managed to grab a piece of pizza without too much trouble. Eating it was a different matter. I heard Jacob laughing at my pitiful attempts and I tried to slap his arm, missing and slamming my hand off of the table, making Jacob laugh even more and my father chuckled.

I made a face and grabbed a second piece of pizza. After I'd eaten that I just sat at the table, thinking about everything that had happened today... I had spent a grand total of one day at Forks High and I seemed to have quite a few admirers already. Mike, Eric, Tyler and possibly Edward Cullen...

When I thought of Edward I shivered with excitement, and then despair flooded through me as I thought of the incident with Alice during the last lesson of the day...

"Smelly, what's wrong?" I heard the concern in Jacob's voice and I hesitated from answering him. I could hear the T.V. in the background, but I wasn't sure if Charlie would be listening. He sensed my hesitation and spoke again.

"Want to go up to your room?"

"Good idea." I left Endesha munching in the kitchen and held onto Jacob's arm so I didn't fall on the way up the stairs.

Once I was safely seated on piano stool, Jacob on the floor next to me, his head against my thigh he asked me again.

"Smelly, what's wrong?" He teased lightly, but the concern in his voice couldn't be completely disguised. I ruffled his hair and cleared my throat.

"Well, apparently, the guys at my school like the whole 'damsel in distress' thing, so I got a lot of unwanted attention today. It was helpful when I was trying to find my classes, so thanks to them I know my way around school, but apart from that, I didn't like it Jacob." I was being honest with him, but he knew that I was keeping something from him when he said.

"And?"

I sighed, I should have known I wasn't going to get out of telling Jake everything...

"And, there was another guy, who didn't treat me like I was disabled or needed him to be there or like I was a 'damsel in distress', he was nice, he treated me like I was normal, well mainly. But then his sister ambushed me last period and then he walked in halfway through our conversation about him and I then completely rejected him to his face and I walked all the way home in the rain because I was so upset. I don't know how to tell him I'm sorry Jacob..." I just blurted it all out, I felt safe with Jacob, we knew each other as well as we knew ourselves.

"Bells, I don't know, I'm sorry, but I've never been in the situation that you are..." He lifted me off the piano stool easily and set me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

"Thanks Jake, even though your lack of advice totally sucks, I'm glad you're here for me." I said, resting my head on his chest.

"Did you write a song on your piano?" He laughed, he really did know me well, or just noticed the layer of dust had shifted off of it.

"Yeah..." I admitted.

"Will you play it for me?" He teased.

"No, definitely not."

"Why? Is it about the guy you totally screwed it up with today?" Jake was always so blunt.

"Yeah..." I sighed.

"So? Will you play it for me?" I could hear the excitement in his voice now.

"You won't stop asking until I do are you?"

"Nope, not a chance."

"Fine then..." I got to my feet and sat carefully on my piano stool again, my fingers finding the right keys and I started to play, singing the lyrics I had come up with while thinking of Edward Cullen.

Jake clapped when I finished and swung round on my stool, hitting him in the back with my feet.

"Sorry Jake, I didn't see you there." I laughed at my joke.

"Bella, it's okay, I know..." He trailed off as he got it and then burst out laughing.

"Man, Jake, you're slow aren't you?" I said, fighting the urge to burst into giggles.


	8. Chapter 8

I slept soundly that night, Endesha by my side.

---

She licked my face when my alarm went off in the morning. I stroked her ears, and wiped my face so it was free of dog slobber.

I clambered upright and stumbled to my window, opening it and sticking my hand outside.

Oh joy, it was raining, again. I would have to wear something warm, I could feel the harsh breeze at my fingertips, the rain was like ice.

I almost ran straight into my piano when I turned round again, luckily I had my hand outstretched and that stopped me from almost taking a large and possibly lethal tumble.

Oh, the hassles of being blind...

I rumbled through my blue drawer, taking out a plain pair of jeans and a v-neck shirt. I also fetched a large zip-up hoodie from my white drawer and shoved them all on. I went through my morning much the same as yesterday, I could feel a routine in the making.

As Endesha and I clambered into the cruiser for Charlie to give us a ride to school I started thinking about the disaster that was yesterday. I knew I would have to see, well not literally, Edward and Alice at school today and I wasn't looking forward to that. I wished that I hadn't got myself into that situation yesterday, but as long as I didn't get caught up in insecurities again I would be able to talk to Edward normally, apologize for yesterday and we could move on. Hopefully.

"Hey kiddo. What are you thinking so hard about?" Charlie asked, breaking me out of my thoughts and I realised that we must be nearly there already, the engine was running and I could hear the wind whipping through Charlie's window. I had no idea why he kept it open, I guess he liked being freezing...

"Nothing Dad, just trying to remember where all my classes are." I lied lamely, thankfully he bought it.

"Alright then, I'll see you later Bells, you're walking home again aren't you?" He asked as I stumbled out of the cruiser awkwardly while trying to keep a hold on my jacket, my bag and Endesha's lead at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah, easy. See you later." I called as Endesha trotted calmly to the sidewalk with me still juggling my jacket and bag. I heard him drive off and then the cruiser, being at least centuries old, backfired which caused me to drop my stuff in shock and for Endesha to bark like a rabid... well...dog I guess.

"Aww, shit..." I muttered when I crouched down to grab my stuff and found it had scattered everywhere. Trust me to have had my bag open when I dropped it.

"Hey Bella! Want a hand?" I heard a tinkling soprano voice call. Alice.

"Err, yeah, thanks Alice." I said while still clutching at my stuff. I heard her grabbing my stuff quicker than I was, but she was able to see where it had landed.

"Do I just shove it in your bag Bella?" She asked me, sounding really cheerful for such an absurd time in the morning.

"Yeah, yeah, it's not like it matters anyways." I laughed and she laughed with me. She had the second most amazing laugh I had ever heard. Edward's was first of course.

"So about yesterday..." Alice began, I swear that girl could read my mind. "Did you mean what you said? About Edward?"

I should have known that this was coming, I had tried to prepare myself, but I wasn't anywhere near prepared.

"Oh, uh, about Edward..." I stammered, getting a little thrill when I said his name.

"What about me?" Edward said playfully while walking up to us, I could hear that he was smiling as his even footsteps continued.

I was a little annoyed that he had just assumed it was him we were talking about, even if he was right it was still annoying.

I decided to wind him up a little.

"We weren't talking about you were we Alice?" I said while struggling to keep a straight face. "We were talking about a different Edward. He's amazing..." I added a little fake sigh at the end for the sheer hell of it and Alice burst out laughing, dragging me in with her.

I could tell that Edward wasn't very amused because he didn't laugh but me and Alice didn't care, it was funny, if Edward couldn't see that then that was his problem.

Suddenly there was a strong hand clamped around my mouth and Alice's laugh was now muffled, I guessed that Edward had taken matters into his own hands, literally.

"Now, how about you two stop laughing at my expense before I really give you something to laugh about?" He hissed and Alice immediately stopped laughing but I felt his cold breath on my neck and I shivered. Then the sheer abstract absurdness of my current situation hit me and I burst out laughing again.

"So you still think it's funny do you?" Edward said. I knew he was grinning at this point and he had removed his hand from my mouth. I shook my head trying to convey the fact that it wasn't him I was laughing at but I was breathless. Yes I was laughing that hard.

"As I said, I'll give you something to laugh about..." He threatened.

"No... no... sorry... no..." I gasped between breaths shaking my head.

"Too late!" Edward shouted as he started to tickle me. I was laughing so hard I thought my sides would burst. I could hear Alice and Edward laughing along with me. I collapsed backwards and Edward caught me, both of us still laughing like lunatics.

"So, as I said before, what about me?" He laughed into my ear.

"I just... didn't... mean what I said... yesterday... I wanted to... apologize." I gasped between laughs.

Wait... what had I just said?

Oh shit...

I stopped laughing and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for it all to be a dream, hoping that I hadn't actually just said that. I could feel the familiar wave of rejection coming to shatter what little I had built here in the sand of my new life.

It never came.

Edward held me closer and whispered in my ear.

"I'm glad you didn't mean it. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I really like you Bella."

Those last five words made me melt inside.

He really liked me.

The all-too-familiar blush crept up onto my cheeks and I could feel that I was going to be tomato red in a minute.

"There's your blush again... cute..." he whispered, only making my cheeks flame even more.

I thought that this moment was perfect, until I heard someone screaming.

"My new shoes! You idiotic dog! How dare you!" A nasal voice screeched.

"Endesha!" Alice shouted, laughing her head off.

I heard Endesha bounding over towards us and someone in high heels come chasing after her.

"Alice? What's going on?" I said, pulling myself from Edward's embrace to stand upright again.

"Endesha... just peed all over... Lauren Mallory's feet!" Alice said in between cackles.

"Who's Lauren Mallory?" I asked, confused.

"Blonde, idiotic, psycho, she pretended to be my friend and used me to try and get to Edward into her bed. Complete bitch."

No one messed with my friends like that.

I could feel the rage starting to bubble up inside me.

"I'm going to kill that stupid dog! Where the hell is it? Its vermin, I'm going to have it put down!" I guessed this was Lauren Mallory.

Nobody talked about Endesha that way. Nobody.

I held out my hand for Endesha and she bumped against my side. I kneeled down to pick up her lead and I stood with her beside me.

"What do you want Lauren?" I said.

"Your idiotic dog pissed all over my feet. My new leather shoes are ruined!" She huffed.

"So?" I said, not caring about her shoes or feet. "I don't give a shit about you or your shoes Lauren. And my dog, Endesha, has more brains than you, so don't call her idiotic."

I heard gasps from around me and I knew that a crowd had formed around us.

"What did you just say?" She asked shocked.

"Try listening Lauren, it helps. Geez. Even for a bimbo you're stupid."

"How dare you!" She screeched.

I felt a hand whip across my face. Lauren had slapped me.

It stung a little, but I wasn't going to let her see that.

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

"Hitting a blind girl? Low blow Lauren..." I said.

She started rambling about how I should get a life etc, etc, and I'm glad she did because I was able to know roughly where her face was from the direction of her voice.

I swung my fist in her direction as hard as I could and as soon as I made contact with what I hoped was her face she stopped talking and screamed.

"My face! My fucking face! This isn't the last you've had from me you bitch!" She screeched again and I heard her high heels clacking rapidly as she ran away.

The crowd around me had been silent, I hadn't known if that was a bad or a good thing, until the applause and the cheering began.

"Wow Bella, you just got yourself into shit-loads of trouble there!" Edward laughed.

"It was worth it to see the look on Mallory's face though. Priceless!" Alice laughed with him.

"How come you hit her? I mean, you're blind..." Edward said, trailing off as he pointed out the obvious.

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I'm completely pathetic. I can still stand up for myself. But it was a pretty lucky shot!" I burst into giggles and I heard Alice still laughing from next to Endesha.

"You have me now, I can stand up for you..." Edward said as he grabbed my free hand and nuzzled into my neck. I stopped laughing immediately and blushed bright red.

"You can't be there all the time Edward," I mumbled, willing myself not to stutter like my erratic heartbeat.

"I can try..." He said, placing his cold lips against my neck.

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**A/N: I'm so so so sorry it's taken me forever to update. MAJOR writers block. Amongst other things but that was a very big problem.  
Edward and Bella! Awwwws lol  
Review and tell me how horrible I am for not updating sooner.  
Although this is the longest chapter I have probably ever written, so feel happy :)  
Its all for you guys coz you all rock  
HELL YEAHS!  
Review and make me smile :D just like that lol  
X Seraphie X**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, so guys I'm really sorry, I know that you will all have been hoping that this would eventually be a new chapter, but alas, it isn't.**

**I've really lost my enthusiasm for this story, and I'm seriously considering just deleting it.**

**Things just really moved too fast, but I'm gonna let you guys be part of the decision of what I should do.**

**So, I guess there are a few options...**

**1) I either re-write it, going waaaay slower than I did with the whole EdwardxBella relationship**

**2) I just delete it and focus on my other stories**

**3) I find someone to take over writing it**

**I'm not very keen on any of those options, so any suggestions/opinions/help in any way would be very appreciated!**

**Thanks guys :)**

**X Seraphie X**


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